Richard Gasquet, a French Tennis player, was suspended in May after a urine sample he provided at a tournament tested positive for cocaine. Today, after 2 months and 15 days, Gasquet is free to rejoin the tour after he was originally supposed to serve a one year suspension. How did he get out of the doghouse, you ask?
...ready for this?
He told officials the reason he tested positive for cocaine was because he kissed a woman who had cocaine on her lips. Yes, it worked...Now I dont know which is worse, the fact that the ITF panel has bought this excuse or the fact that Gasquet was swappin spit with a crack whore.
This really got me thinking...what the hell was I thinking when I was arrested not once but twice for underage consumption. "Im sorry ocifer, I swear I didn't drink anything, I was just bumpin uglies with that really drunnnk 21 year old!" I mean, seriously, I now know that the more far fetched the excuses are the more effective they are. With that said, I can't wait to blame a strip club and a busted-ass-crack-whore next time I forget to turn in a paper. Screw the whole "my dog ate my homework" routine, that shits played out...
Comprehend and Comment,
NB
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